Standing Her Ground...
Twenty-two years.
That was the length of time Suzanne Perry was abused, isolated and estranged from her family, friends and the world around her by a husband who took every opportunity to tell her she was worthless, useless and would never amount to anything. She was allowed to go to her job, but had to come right home or face the consequences.
Her three children were prisoners of his behavior, also. Perry’s former husband wouldn’t let her talk to her children unless he was present.
By 2007, the frequency and intensity of the abuse had increased to a point where Perry’s oldest daughter gave her an ultimatum: the daughter said that either her father needed to go, or she would leave herself.
That ultimatum woke Perry up. She had left and returned to that man three times in 13 years, and the final time she had married him. Clearly, this could go on no longer.
Although Perry couldn’t really talk to her daughter alone, the two managed to make a pact that when things got bad, 911 would be called.
“I tried calling for help,” said Perry. “I was told if I had a black eye, nothing could be done, but if I was kicked with a shoe, than that was okay. So was I supposed to go home and ask to be kicked? I really started to feel helpless at that point.”
On a Thursday night in November 2007, the violence escalated. Her daughter asked if she could call after Perry’s lips swelled up. Perry declined. Her daughter asked after a second incident, which resulted in blood spattered on Perry’s shirt. She still declined. After a third incident, Perry looked in the mirror, saw bright red hand marks on her throat and, finally, with more visible evidence, the authorities were called and he was taken away.
The next morning an order of protection was issued against the father of Perry’s children, and this past July the divorce was finalized.
A month after her husband was removed, Perry and her children went to the mall in December. In more than a decade, she had not set foot in a mall. Everything was so colorful, lit up and new, just like Perry’s future.
Her new freedom gave Perry the opportunity to rediscover her children’s unique personalities and gifts. And it gave another gift of its own: the opportunity to reconnect with her mother during her mother’s last 18 months of life.
“I love having no one to answer to. I like being able to not care if someone doesn’t like how I’m dressed. I also love being a regular person and that I can walk into a public place and strike up a conversation and make someone laugh or smile,” said Perry. “It feels so good spreading smiles. I love waking up being free. It’s something regular people take for granted, but not me. It was taken away from me for 22 years, so it was like living in prison all that time.”
“I have a chipped front tooth from his wedding ring,” Perry continued. “My dentist asked if they could fix it and I told them no. It’s a reminder of the thorns I bore for so long and it keeps me strong.”
But her new life was not without challenges. She lost her job, and her employer successfully contested her unemployment claim. She found herself with no income and a new house in Orchard Park.
Throughout her entire life, Perry has worked for information technology (IT) companies. In recent years, many of the companies in the area downsized or closed up shop for good. Perry’s most recent employer couldn’t even make payroll.
“I thought, ’Okay. I’m going to take my former employer’s clients and their technicians with me.’ And that’s exactly what I did,” said Perry. “Fortunately, because of my work ethic, I had developed a good rapport with clients during the years. I decided I wouldn’t lay myself off, so I opened my own company. I had a dime and a dream.”
Perry established On A Dime Installations in April 2008. She named the company not only for the dime and a dream she started with, but also for the connotation of precision of stopping or turning on a dime. She wants her company to embody that precision, quick thinking and efficient performance.
On A Dime Installations provides telecommunication equipment. If there is a signal, Perry’s company can sell and install it. Her services and products include computer networks, phone systems, structured cabling, video walls, home theatre, point of sale systems, menu boards, and interactive vending machines.
“Because we are a small business, we can boast anti-corporate pricing,” said Perry. “I meet with every client so it’s personal.”
Currently, she is her only formal employee, although she contracts with additional technicians as needed.
By spring 2010 Perry would like to have five full-time technicians and by the fall reach 10. In late spring, she plans to open an office in the Village of Orchard Park.
“I feel my goals are very realistic because I am honest and passionate about my work and I am like an open book,” said Perry. “I can’t sell something if I don’t believe in it. I just won’t do that.”
When Perry began her company last year, she had all national-level accounts. When the recession began, those accounts reduced their spending. When the going got tough, Perry got going yet again.
Perry’s focus changed to become local. Initially, she made a presence in Orchard Park, joining the chamber of commerce and continually supporting local and small businesses. The idea of digital signage came to Perry.
After sharing her story, Perry discovered the problem of domestic violence is far more prevalent than many believe.
“People started pouring their hearts out to me. I’m not a counselor and I didn’t know what to do with it,” said Perry. “Music is expression and the ability to create without being judged seemed perfect.”
That realization inspired Perry to begin a second venture that will help raise awareness for domestic violence and family abuse victims. It is a music venue with a recording studio and coffee house. It is scheduled to open May 2010.
Perry and her daughter, who is a musician, collaborated on the idea. After extensive research from numerous victims, they found that victims of violence share a common ground. The victims are trained to be silent.
“If [the abusers] were exposed, they would shrivel up and die,” said Perry. “My idea was to sell purple musical notes just like the Juvenile Diabetes sneakers, with the word ’exposure’ written on it. I want to turn up the volume and really reach out to anyone that needs it.”
To date, Perry has aided three women to stay independent from their abusers. Perry holds the mantra that if she can help one, she can help many.
“I want to help anyone that feels helpless and isolated, like I once did, so that they may find hope and understand there is a way out,” said Perry.
For more information on On A Dime Installations, visit www.OnADimeInstallations.com, or call 548-5013.Information on the music venture can be found at, www.opmusichouse.org.
That was the length of time Suzanne Perry was abused, isolated and estranged from her family, friends and the world around her by a husband who took every opportunity to tell her she was worthless, useless and would never amount to anything. She was allowed to go to her job, but had to come right home or face the consequences.
Her three children were prisoners of his behavior, also. Perry’s former husband wouldn’t let her talk to her children unless he was present.
By 2007, the frequency and intensity of the abuse had increased to a point where Perry’s oldest daughter gave her an ultimatum: the daughter said that either her father needed to go, or she would leave herself.
That ultimatum woke Perry up. She had left and returned to that man three times in 13 years, and the final time she had married him. Clearly, this could go on no longer.
Although Perry couldn’t really talk to her daughter alone, the two managed to make a pact that when things got bad, 911 would be called.
“I tried calling for help,” said Perry. “I was told if I had a black eye, nothing could be done, but if I was kicked with a shoe, than that was okay. So was I supposed to go home and ask to be kicked? I really started to feel helpless at that point.”
On a Thursday night in November 2007, the violence escalated. Her daughter asked if she could call after Perry’s lips swelled up. Perry declined. Her daughter asked after a second incident, which resulted in blood spattered on Perry’s shirt. She still declined. After a third incident, Perry looked in the mirror, saw bright red hand marks on her throat and, finally, with more visible evidence, the authorities were called and he was taken away.
The next morning an order of protection was issued against the father of Perry’s children, and this past July the divorce was finalized.
A month after her husband was removed, Perry and her children went to the mall in December. In more than a decade, she had not set foot in a mall. Everything was so colorful, lit up and new, just like Perry’s future.
Her new freedom gave Perry the opportunity to rediscover her children’s unique personalities and gifts. And it gave another gift of its own: the opportunity to reconnect with her mother during her mother’s last 18 months of life.
“I love having no one to answer to. I like being able to not care if someone doesn’t like how I’m dressed. I also love being a regular person and that I can walk into a public place and strike up a conversation and make someone laugh or smile,” said Perry. “It feels so good spreading smiles. I love waking up being free. It’s something regular people take for granted, but not me. It was taken away from me for 22 years, so it was like living in prison all that time.”
“I have a chipped front tooth from his wedding ring,” Perry continued. “My dentist asked if they could fix it and I told them no. It’s a reminder of the thorns I bore for so long and it keeps me strong.”
But her new life was not without challenges. She lost her job, and her employer successfully contested her unemployment claim. She found herself with no income and a new house in Orchard Park.
Throughout her entire life, Perry has worked for information technology (IT) companies. In recent years, many of the companies in the area downsized or closed up shop for good. Perry’s most recent employer couldn’t even make payroll.
“I thought, ’Okay. I’m going to take my former employer’s clients and their technicians with me.’ And that’s exactly what I did,” said Perry. “Fortunately, because of my work ethic, I had developed a good rapport with clients during the years. I decided I wouldn’t lay myself off, so I opened my own company. I had a dime and a dream.”
Perry established On A Dime Installations in April 2008. She named the company not only for the dime and a dream she started with, but also for the connotation of precision of stopping or turning on a dime. She wants her company to embody that precision, quick thinking and efficient performance.
On A Dime Installations provides telecommunication equipment. If there is a signal, Perry’s company can sell and install it. Her services and products include computer networks, phone systems, structured cabling, video walls, home theatre, point of sale systems, menu boards, and interactive vending machines.
“Because we are a small business, we can boast anti-corporate pricing,” said Perry. “I meet with every client so it’s personal.”
Currently, she is her only formal employee, although she contracts with additional technicians as needed.
By spring 2010 Perry would like to have five full-time technicians and by the fall reach 10. In late spring, she plans to open an office in the Village of Orchard Park.
“I feel my goals are very realistic because I am honest and passionate about my work and I am like an open book,” said Perry. “I can’t sell something if I don’t believe in it. I just won’t do that.”
When Perry began her company last year, she had all national-level accounts. When the recession began, those accounts reduced their spending. When the going got tough, Perry got going yet again.
Perry’s focus changed to become local. Initially, she made a presence in Orchard Park, joining the chamber of commerce and continually supporting local and small businesses. The idea of digital signage came to Perry.
After sharing her story, Perry discovered the problem of domestic violence is far more prevalent than many believe.
“People started pouring their hearts out to me. I’m not a counselor and I didn’t know what to do with it,” said Perry. “Music is expression and the ability to create without being judged seemed perfect.”
That realization inspired Perry to begin a second venture that will help raise awareness for domestic violence and family abuse victims. It is a music venue with a recording studio and coffee house. It is scheduled to open May 2010.
Perry and her daughter, who is a musician, collaborated on the idea. After extensive research from numerous victims, they found that victims of violence share a common ground. The victims are trained to be silent.
“If [the abusers] were exposed, they would shrivel up and die,” said Perry. “My idea was to sell purple musical notes just like the Juvenile Diabetes sneakers, with the word ’exposure’ written on it. I want to turn up the volume and really reach out to anyone that needs it.”
To date, Perry has aided three women to stay independent from their abusers. Perry holds the mantra that if she can help one, she can help many.
“I want to help anyone that feels helpless and isolated, like I once did, so that they may find hope and understand there is a way out,” said Perry.
For more information on On A Dime Installations, visit www.OnADimeInstallations.com, or call 548-5013.Information on the music venture can be found at, www.opmusichouse.org.
COMMENTS
Kudos to Perry who could have easily stayed bitter about life. She may have been victiminzed but she is not a victim!!! I wish her and her company success!!!
As a survivor of domestic violence, I always love to read about women who not only survived...but CONQUERED and OVERCAME the years of abuse! Thank you for such an inspirational article.
Suzanne, I am so encouraged by you as a woman! You are a blessing and I am grateful that I have gotten to meet you. All things through Christ who strengthens you! Failure is not an option!!!
I've had the pleasure of working with Suzanne, and being her friend for 3 1/2 years. She's a determined, hard working, professional, that completes every task to perfection. I'm proud to have her as my friend! She's a sweetheart, and is an amazing business woman.
I cried when I read this; it was also my story to some degree. My divorce will be final in January. Freedom is not free-but in the long run, is SO worth it. I am still paying a ton of bills incurred from leaving and going back to this man twice. Good luck to you and your endeavors. With your permission, I'd like to post this on my FB site as I am a passionate crusader for domestic and sexual violence against women.
Doreen, please credit the source (WNY Women in Business, and the reporter, Nikki Gawel) I WELCOME you to repost it. That is my goal, to get as many supporters as possible; because if those maggots knew someone was onto them, boy would their behavior change. Plus, I want to raise education- the people that say, 'Well she must have done something to deserve it' PUH-LEASE!!!!! I would love for you to subscribe to any of my blogs. I am starting to put some of the genious ways these people manipulate us over time into little chapters. And I will be out on my ear if I don't get some support soon myself due to marital debt, I paid $9,000 to cover HIS IRS and NYS taxes when I moved. All the money generated for us, goes to people's office parties. I feel very strongly and will shake alot of things up, because I know that I am right on this.
Suzanne put a smile on my face today as I read her story....I am very glad she finnally woke up and got out of a very unhealthy realationship and today look where she is headed moving on to bigger and better things good for you dear .God loves you and so do I continue what your doing.Paula
Such an inspiration just when I needed it most. Just when I start to waver in my hope that I will land on my feet, inspiration like this pops up in front of me. Suzanne you are an inspiration to me and to many others I'm sure. While I was not beaten, I have been isolated and torn down ~ a prisoner. I needed this article today, Thank you!
After picking up a copy of WNYWoman and reading about your tremenduos experience. I continued on the web. Sue,you are a Hero! To your children, family and friends. I can think of no greater sacrifice a person can make but to protect the children they love.
I wish you luck in your future business endeavors and for you to continue to touch other womens life in a positive way:)))
I wish you luck in your future business endeavors and for you to continue to touch other womens life in a positive way:)))
Wow you guys... The press release announcing the EXPOSURE concert has in one week, evolved into a TWO DAY long mini-Woodstock festival, with over 20 confirmed bands, an indoor and so far one outdoor stage! This is purely amazing. So many people are affected and care. Im going to Los Angeles on biz in March.. guess what? Im going to rumble from WNY to Los Angeles with my message of peace. Nobody deserves to be controlled. Expose the maggots! THANK YOU everyone! You guys ROCK! And today, OP Music House had our 1000th friend! Think up! Thank you!
Success is the greatest revenge! As a former victim of domestic violence, I know how great it feels to succeed.
I am so PROUD of Sue. She was an old friend that I had lost contact with. After facebook we meet up again and I learned of her story.This lady has everything going for her now cause she never gave up. So lets give a great round of Applause. We love you Sue keep up the great work you will go places.
Suzanne is an inspiration. I know where she has come from, because I have been there myself. I had 4 children and almost 10 years of abuse. I finally decided to kick my abuser out when he tried to beat up my teenage son and wound up almost getting his head knocked off. As I was cleaning the blood off my son's battered and bruised face, he said something that woke me up. My son told me, "I stole the lion's teeth. He can't hurt us anymore, Mom." He was refering to a fable I told my kids about a lion who wanted to marry a princess. Her father said the lion could get angry and kill his daughter with one swipe of his powerful paw or one snap of his powerful jaws. So the lion had his claws and teeth removed and came back to ask again. The father said, "You no longer have the means to harm me if I say no, so go away from me and never come back." I kicked him out and filed for divorce.
Yes, it was strange for awhile not to have anyone to tell me how to dress, where I could go and what time to be back, what I could and could not eat, who I could speak to, how I could spend my money, etc.
I am now in the 3rd year of my Bachelors Degree in Psychology, focus on Violent Behavior (Domestic Violence). It is my goal to get my Masters Degree and cousel battered women.
Been there. Done that. Got the scars to prove it. I know your pain. I know where you have been. What can I do to help you?
We love you Suzanne. Keep the faith and keep up the good work. Love, peace and comfort to you and yours and may all your endeavors bear fruit.
Yes, it was strange for awhile not to have anyone to tell me how to dress, where I could go and what time to be back, what I could and could not eat, who I could speak to, how I could spend my money, etc.
I am now in the 3rd year of my Bachelors Degree in Psychology, focus on Violent Behavior (Domestic Violence). It is my goal to get my Masters Degree and cousel battered women.
Been there. Done that. Got the scars to prove it. I know your pain. I know where you have been. What can I do to help you?
We love you Suzanne. Keep the faith and keep up the good work. Love, peace and comfort to you and yours and may all your endeavors bear fruit.
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