Three and a half years ago I faced that dreaded day after 8+ weeks at home with the Boy when I had to pack him up, drive him to daycare and leave him with “strangers” while I went back to work. I knew it was going to be hard but I had no idea just how hard; physically, mentally and emotionally.
Like most Americans we can’t comfortably or responsibly live on one income. We have bills to pay and don’t want to scrape by, and most importantly we want to be able to help him pay for college and build a savings for our future. So back I went, but not without hesitation.
If you are a new mommy and have to return to the work place, you like myself and many others that have gone before you may do one or more of the following beforehand:
- Put together a “Business Case” to present to your spouse/significant other on how you can afford to live on one income
- Spend every single moment staring into your child’s face
- Worrying if the providers will take good care of him
- Wondering how you will get into a new routine
- All of the above and more
Dude and I really had no idea what to expect or where to start in trying to figure out a new routine so we just went with the flow the first couple of weeks. Once we started to see what was working we kept at it until one day we realized we were in a full blown routine! It may seem difficult and overwhelming at first but don’t get discouraged, it gets easier.
Here are some things that we figured out that were a huge help. Some of these ideas may work for your family and some may not, but the intention of this post is to try and make the transition a little easier.
If your child will be cared for outside of the home, check with your child care provider to see if you can bring the “necessities” in and set up their cubbie ahead of time. Most centers will allow you to bring diapers, wipes, extra clothes, personal care items (diaper cream, sunscreen etc.) in a few days ahead of time so that your child will be ready from jump. Your center should give you a list of things they should have; if not use this article as a guide. Making sure your little one has all they need for the day will ease your mind a little more.
As you prepare yourself for the return, it’s best to get ready the night before. It can make the morning a little easier. While you are going to be tired after working all day and want to do nothing else but spend the entire night in a chair snuggling your baby; put them down in their crib at a reasonable hour and do some of the following:
- Shower
- Iron the next days or even weeks worth of work clothes
- Lay out baby clothes
- Pack the daycare bag if necessary
- Pack lunches and set the coffee maker
- Make bottles (as baby gets older pack up their baby food)
- Prep the following nights dinner if possible
Plus the usual laundry, cleaning, dishes.
Believe me, you will be tired, but doing these few extra things while the baby is asleep can make a world of difference in the morning. I made the mistake of falling asleep plenty of nights with the Boy snuggled into me; and despite Dude’s greatest efforts he was not prying us out of that chair until I had my fill.
If you do find that you just don’t have it in you to do any of these things the night before it’s OK. You can get yourself up a little earlier and get yourself ready before baby wakes up (hopefully). However, be sure you anticipate those unexpected surprises which amongst others can come in the form of being pooped on or spit up on. My friend Marsh-A always laughed because she knew what kind of morning I had depending if I had boogers or food down my back.
Be sure to also divvy up the tasks with your significant other; don’t take it all on yourself. Yes, you have had 8+ weeks off, but returning to work is very stressful for a woman; be sensitive to your own needs.
We also found that having Dude take all my bags and even my purse out to my vehicle before he left was a huge help. I know it sounds like a little thing, but believe me, it’s a huge help. It’s less you have to remember to take and much less to carry. I vividly remember one of the first days of going back to work and I was already running late because of one of those little unexpected surprises; I grabbed my purse and the Boys bag and ran out the door. I got halfway to the car and realized I had left him in the house! Mind you he was safely buckled in his car seat on the floor; but it was a horrible feeling! After that, Dude’s responsibility was to take everything out for me before he left. The Boy was the only thing I had to remember to take with me in the morning from then on.
For the first few days you may also want to give yourself a little extra time at drop off. You may be thinking to yourself that you will be brave, but most Moms become a red faced sobbing mess; and that’s OK. If you have to cry; cry – you are not the first Mommy to do it and you won’t be the last. Don’t worry about what the caregivers think, they have either been there or seen it hundreds of times. Just give yourself some time to go in, unpack them and even sit with them for a few minutes before you head for work if you need to. I remember crying the entire way to daycare the first few days back; going to see him at lunch and then some days I even cried the entire way back to pick him up after work because I was so happy to see him! (I am also an emotional basket case at times, but that’s beside the point!)
Most importantly, cut yourself some slack if things go wrong or you experience working mommy guilt. You are already proving to be a great Mom by worrying about all the “what-ifs”; your baby will remember you, and really will be OK while you are away. If they cry when you leave, don’t worry; in five minutes they will be just fine. I promise.
Celebrate your ability to handle multiple situations and realize that your providing your child with a strong, positive role model and that is something to be proud of!
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